Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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