Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
