He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
