on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
