That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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