Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
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