I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize