Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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