so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
