Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
We don't watch enough power rangers
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize