I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
