another moral hangover. fuck.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
