I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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