is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
