I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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