I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
