As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
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