The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
