It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Drunk is a universal language darling
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
