So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize
