I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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