I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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