I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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