dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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