I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
NoShamevember. You game?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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