miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
