I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
