Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
