got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
