Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize