Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize