Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
