Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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