felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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