i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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