sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
