My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
only you would photoshop your dick
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
