I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
