So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Randomize
