How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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