Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
