i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
