i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
My liver just had a heart attack.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
