I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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