but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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