The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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