Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Randomize
