He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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