she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
