You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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