At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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