I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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