dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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