Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
