Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
i think im in europe. pls send help
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