Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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