I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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