why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
