I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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