I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
