I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
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