Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
my poor anus
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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